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One time, I try haggle—big mistake. She say, “100!” I say, “20, I quick!” She slap me, scream, “I no discount bin!” Face red, I run, trip on curb, look like fool. Lesson: no cheap with prostitute, they proud, got standards! Another gal, she so pretty, I think, “She could be model!” But she pick this—why? “More control,” she say. Huh, make me wonder bout her story, like Polley movie, “Who’s tellin it right?”

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After the rain, the sun comes out, and it’s like a freakin’ postcard. The colors are poppin’, and I’m feelin’ good again. I grab a hot pie from the food truck. Best decision ever. I’m munchin’ away, and I see this couple gettin’ all lovey-dovey on the bench. I’m like, “Get a room, you two!” But it’s cute, ya know?

Witnesses and footage of alleged dangerous driver sought