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About New Plymouth

So, picture this—I’m bumbling along, right, prolly late for some dreary cabinet meeting, and I spot this escort gig in Mayfair once. Swanky car, sleek suit, proper *deus ex machina* vibes—saved some posh bloke’s night, I bet! Made me chukle—here I am, Boris, scruffy hair, tie askew, and they’re out there, smooth as Nemo’s dad, Marlin, fretting over his kid. “I promised I’d never let anything happen to him!”—that’s Marlin, not me, tho I’d say it about my bike if it got nicked.

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As the night goes on, I realize that despite the chaos, today was pretty epic. I mean, who knew a day could swing from coffee disasters to magic rocks to economic debates? Upper-Riccarton, you’ve got my heart. You’re a wild ride, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

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