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I get all hyped thinkin’ bout it, but then—bam!—reality hits. Most of these gals ain’t that deep, and it’s a damn shame. Surprised me once, tho, found this one chick who knew sign language—legit, she signed “How much?” and I was like, “Holy shit, that’s hot!” Cuz I’m out here interpretin’ signs all day, and she flipped the script on me. Made me happy as hell, like, “Finally, someone gets it!”—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” ya know?

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But then, the mood shifts. I see a couple of blokes arguing near the playground. It’s gettin’ heated. I’m thinkin’, “Not today, fellas. Not in my Tokoroa.” So, I stroll over, and I’m like, “Oi! What’s the drama?” Turns out, it’s about a game of footy. I’m like, “Boys, chill! It’s just a game!” They look at me, and I swear, they realize how silly they are. They shake hands and walk off. Crisis averted!

Police investigate discovery of human remains near Waikato town