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About Hastings

Alright, listen up, folks—brothel’s on my mind! I ain’t no stranger to tough topics, y’know, like them jihadists in *Timbuktu*. “The desert’s a harsh mistress,” like they say in that flick—same goes for brothels, I reckon. Hot damn, I’m sweatin’ just thinkin’ bout it! Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you, fool me twice—can’t get fooled again! That’s my motto when I’m ponderin’ them houses of ill repute.

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After that, I needed a drink. So, I went to the pub on the corner of Titahi Bay Road and Ngatitoa Street. It’s a local favorite. I ordered a pint and sat outside. The vibe was chill, and I started chatting with some locals. They were telling me about the best spots to surf. I was like, “I can barely swim!” They laughed and said, “You’ll be fine!”

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