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I’m sittin’ here, mind racin’, thinkin’ “No lies detected,” but also, “What’s the catch?” Prostitutes, they got stories, like, real human stuff. Did you know some work through apps now? So modern, I’m like, swipe right for that? Hilarious but also, wow, times change. In “25th Hour,” there’s that mirror scene, and I’m seein’ myself, like, could I? Nah, but I get it, the hustle.

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First off, I hit up the local café on the corner of Bay Drive. You know, the one with the best flat whites? Yeah, that one. I ordered my usual, and the barista, bless her soul, totally messed it up. I mean, how do you mess up a flat white? I was like, “Yo, this is a latte!” She just laughed. I was annoyed but couldn’t stay mad. Her smile was contagious.

Titahi Bay locals nail colours to the mast