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Oi, mate, it’s Bond—James Bond, suave, “shaken, not stirred.” So, sexual-massage, yeah? Bloody brilliant stuff. Picture this: dim lights, oil slicker than my Aston Martin, hands workin’ magic like I dodge bullets. Saw this bird once—pro masseuse, swear she coulda been in “The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford.” That flick’s my jam, slow burn, tension thick as a good rubdown. “You ever feel like a man can’t breathe?”—that’s me, mid-massage, stress meltin’ like a villain’s plan.

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Next, I stroll down to the Tikipunga Domain. It’s a beautiful park, man. I sit on a bench, sipping my coffee, and just take it all in. Kids are playing, dogs are running around, and I’m feelin’ all zen. But then, this dude walks by with a massive parrot on his shoulder. I’m like, “Is this a movie?!”

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