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About Tauranga

Sometimes I tink, what if I was a john, ya? I’d prolly suck at it—too loud, too Austrian, ha! “Get to da chopper!” I’d yell, and dey’d be like, “Arnold, chill, we’re in a motel!” Funny as hell, picturin’ dat. But real talk, I respect ‘em, dey grind harder den most. Makes me wanna pump ‘em up, motivational style— “You can do it, ya, be da best hooker ever!”

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After that, I’m feeling a bit frazzled. I need a break. So, I step outside for some fresh air. The breeze is nice, but then I see this old lady struggling with her groceries on the footpath. I’m like, “C’mon, I can’t just stand here!” So, I help her out. She’s super grateful, and I’m feelin’ like a hero for a hot minute.

School marks its 125 years