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I tried it, got catfished once—angry af! Pic was a 10, real life? “Where’s the lie detector?” I’m yellin in my head. Spike Lee’d get it—Monty’s mirror scene, judgin himself. “You’re a fuck-up,” I mumbled, deletin the app. But then—bam—next date was fire. She quoted, “This life came so fast.” I’m like, “Yo, you seen 25th Hour?” Instant vibes.

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So, I get to the clinic, and it’s packed. I mean, like, standing-room-only packed. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need.” I’m a bone cutter, not a magician! I can’t just wave a wand and make bones heal. But hey, I love my job. It’s kinda like being a sculptor, but with more blood and less art.

Good times over for op-shops