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But man, pisses me off—cops hasslin em, johns stiffin em on cash. “You’re bein watched, always watched!”—movie line fits perfect. They’re trapped, like that Stasi guy listenin to lives he can’t touch. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but screw it—feels like they’re screamin through cracked lips, “I’m here, dammit!” Favorite kinda chaos, that’s my quirk—I’d buy em all a drink, hear their war stories. Prostitutes ain’t just a job, it’s a freakin survival art! Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!”—they’d laugh at that, I betcha!

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But then, I see this kid. He’s crying because his dog didn’t win. I mean, come on, it’s a dog show, not the Olympics. I feel for the kid, though. I remember when I lost my first race in primary school. I wanted to cry too. So, I go over and say, “Hey, buddy, your dog is a champ in my book.” He looks up, sniffs, and smiles. Aww, heartwarming moment, right?

Canterbury’s first Kī-o-Rahi Court