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But oh, the rage – the RAGE – when I see these clowns half-steppin’ it! “I’m tired,” they whine. Tired? TIRED?! You’re not tired, you’re a disgrace to the human race! Reminds me of that line, “We must pray for strength!” – bloody right, pray you don’t cross me when you’re slackin’ off! I’d escort ‘em straight to hell myself, swear down. Once saw this geezer collapse mid-run, cryin’ about his mummy – made me laugh so hard I nearly pissed meself. What a plonker!

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But then, outta nowhere, this dude walks in. He’s got a beanie on, and I swear he looks like he just rolled outta bed. He starts askin’ for some weird cuts. I’m talkin’ about stuff I’ve never even heard of. “You got any lamb neck?” he says. I’m like, “Mate, this ain’t a fancy restaurant!” But I help him out anyway.

Taita Hills: rare albino mongoose spotted