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About Tauranga

So, check it—erotic-massage ain’t just some dodgy rub-down. It’s old, like ancient, bruv! Them Greeks was at it, callin’ it “massage” from “massein”—means to knead, ya feel? Even Cleopatra, yeah, she had blokes oilin’ her up, proper queen ting! Little fact for ya—bet ya didn’t clock that, did ya? Is it ’cos I is black I know this shit? Nah, just cos I’m deep, fam!

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So we start choppin’ wood, right? And I’m swingin’ my axe like a pro. But then, outta nowhere, I slip on some mud. I go down hard, like a tree fallin’ in slow-mo. My mates are crackin’ up, and I’m just layin’ there, covered in muck. “Real classy, bro,” one of ‘em says. I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up.”

Albert Soliguen named boys volleyball coach at Sunny Hills