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About New Plymouth

I got mad once, hearin’ ‘bout this sketchy place downtown. Sign said “massage,” but the yelp reviews? “Happy endings” galore! Don’t pee on my leg, callin’ that therapy – it’s a damn brothel with extra steps! Pissed me off, ‘cause real massage folks get screwed by that rep. But then, I was happy – found a legit spot, this chick dug into my shoulders like she’s minin’ for gold. Felt like heaven, no funny business, just pure relief.

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So, I’m walking back, and I see this dude on the corner of Regan St. He’s juggling. Like, seriously? Juggling? In the middle of the street? I stop to watch, and he drops a ball. Classic. I laugh, and he gives me this look like I just insulted his mother. Chill, bro, it’s just a ball!

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