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About Palmerston North

Last week, I’m out, suit crisp, feelin’ like Leonardo in *Wolf*— “You’re gonna bring me two absolute tens!” I spot this lass, proper fit, leanin’ on a lamppost. I saunter over, all charm, “Fancy a martini, love?” She laughs—fuckin’ laughs! Says, “You’re not my type, Mr. Bond.” Pissed me off, that did! Me? Not her type? I’ve shagged half the world, saved it twice! But nah, she’s after some crypto bro with a Lambo. Fair play, I s’pose—times change, even for a legend.

Charities have issued a warning to police over the matter

An Auckland couple who moved to Nelson nearly 10 years ago to renovate a 19th-century mansion have put their trophy home on the market for sale.

But wait, it gets better. Outta nowhere, this guy shows up. He’s got a guitar and starts playing. It’s like a scene from a movie! I’m vibing, and suddenly, I’m dancing. Like, full-on twirling in my kimono. I don’t even care who’s watching. It’s just me, the music, and the river.

Lower Hutt fire that critically injured 81yo 'suspicious' - police