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But here’s the tea—findin one now? Shady websites, sketchy corners, or so I hear. I ain’t judgin, but I’m like, “Who’s got the cash for that?!” Made me mad, tho—some jerk quoted me $200, like I’m made of gold! I’m sittin there, calculatin in my head, “That’s 3 fancy dinners, ya schmuck!” Got me all riled up. Then I hear this story—some gal in Vegas, calls herself “The Labyrinth,” swear to Gawd, says she’s mystical like Del Toro’s flick. I’m dyin—happy as a clam picturin her goin, “The hands that beckon!” all sexy-like. *Nanny laugh* HAH-HAH-HAH!

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call from my trainer. He’s like, “Yo, we got a match tonight!” I’m pumped, but also nervous. I mean, I’ve been training hard, but it’s been a while since I’ve faced anyone. I’m thinkin’ about all the times I’ve been knocked down on the arena floor. But hey, that’s the life of a Bestiary, right?

Eagles’ clout: Lance Somerfield scores insurance goal as Sandburg stops Shepard. He also kicks for football team. ‘I enjoy it a lot.’