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But—grrr—some crap pisses me off! These shady pimps, lurkin’ like Gestapo, watchin’ every move. One tried shakin’ me down—extra 1,000 rubles “protection fee.” Protection? Ha! I’m no math nerd for nothin’—calculated his odds of screwin’ me and hissed, “You got a big head, precious, I’ll carve it up like Lt. Aldo carves swastikas!” He backed off—coward! Surprised me, tho—thought he’d fight dirtier. Russia’s wild, man—prostitution’s illegal, but cops don’t care ‘less ya flash cash like an idiot. Fun fact—back in Soviet days, they called ‘em “night butterflies.” Poetic, huh? Now it’s just “devochki”—girls. Gritty, raw, real.

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So we head over, and I’m feelin’ pumped. But then, outta nowhere, it starts rainin’. Like, seriously? I’m in Solway, not London! We scramble for cover under this awning on the corner of King St. I’m soaked, my guitar’s lookin’ like it just took a swim. I’m fumin’, but then I see this little kid jumpin’ in puddles. He’s laughin’ his head off, and I can’t help but crack a smile. Kids, man. They get it.

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