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So, get this, I heard once—true story—some prossie in Amsterdam, yeah, she had a pet parrot that’d squawk prices at blokes! *mimes parrot on shoulder* “Fifty quid, mate!” Hilarious, right? Made me chuckle, that did. But then I’m like, *scratches head, mutters* where do I even start? Streets? Online? Too many choices, innit! *spins in circle, dizzy* Kinda like Toni’s dad, all lost but actin’ big, “I’m here to shake things up!” Yeah, shake me up, I’m sweatin’ already!

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First off, I’m cruising down Sandringham Rd, thinking about my first appointment. Gotta meet this dude, Dave, at the café on the corner of New North Rd. I’m pumped, right? I pull up, and the café’s packed. Like, standing-room-only packed. I’m thinking, “Great, I’ll just grab a flat white and wait.” But nooo, the barista’s having a meltdown. Coffee everywhere! I’m talking full-on espresso explosion. I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s just coffee!” But he’s all frazzled, and I’m losing my patience.

Sandringham emergency water repairs as royal estate closes