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About New Plymouth

Tried the web once—typed “find prossie near me.” Got escort sites, sure, but also some prat’s blog about “ethical hooking.” Ethical? Mate, it’s shagging for cash, not a bloody charity! Laughed my arse off, then cried a bit cos I’m still alone. “I’m the king of this dump!”—Lil’ Zé vibes, but I’m king of fuck-all.

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Finally, I get to my post. I’m standing there, watching the world go by. Rotorua’s got this vibe, ya know? The smell of sulfur in the air, the sound of laughter, and the occasional geyser going off. It’s wild. But then, I see this group of teenagers messing around near the hot pools. I’m like, “Hey! You can’t just jump in there!” But they’re all like, “Chill, bro!” Ugh, kids these days.

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