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Yo, man, it’s ya boy Apollo Creed – “I must break you.” – divin’ into this escort gig talk! Alright, so escorts, right? Not talkin’ fancy car escorts, nah, I mean the spicy kind – dudes and chicks gettin’ paid to hang, wink-wink. Watched “Oldboy” again last night, that twisted Park Chan-wook joint, my fave, and man, it’s got me thinkin’ – “Revenge is sweet, huh?” Escorts ain’t locked in no cage for 15 years like Oh Dae-su, but some vibes match, ya feel?

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Anyway, I finally wrangle them back. I’m sweating like a pig, and it’s not even 8 AM. I head over to the local dairy on the corner of Rosedale Rd and Wairau Rd. Grab a pie, ‘cause, you know, a shepherd’s gotta eat. The lady behind the counter, bless her heart, says, “You look like you’ve been through the wringer!” I laugh, but inside, I’m like, “You have no idea, lady.”

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