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I’m wandering, half-pissed, thinking, “This is grim.” Then—bam!—this fit one, all legs, smirks at me. “Fancy a go, love?” she says. I’m like, “Christ, you’re bold!” Heart’s racing, not cos I’m horny, but cos it’s surreal. Reminds me of that *Yi Yi* line, “Why’s life so loud?” Cos it bloody is! She’s chatting me up, says she’s called Jade—probably fake, who cares? Tells me she once shagged a copper to dodge a fine. Little fact for ya—cops’ve been punters forever. Dirty sods.

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So, I’m munching on my pie, and I see this kid on a bike. He’s zooming down the street, and I’m thinkin’, “Man, I wish I had that kinda energy.” But then, he hits a pothole and goes flying! I’m like, “Oh no!” But he gets up, dusts himself off, and just laughs. Kids these days, right? Tougher than my sheep!

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