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Oh, funny ting – me mate Igor tried it, slipped off da table, butt naked! Crash, oil everywhere, he’s yellin’, “Gru, save me dignity!” I’m dyin’, laughin’ so hard I choke. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but dat’s how I see it in me head! Anyway, it’s old as dirt – Ancient Greeks did it, called it “sensual rubbin’” or somefing. Bet dey had epic abs from it, ha!

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So, I head down to the beach, right? Raumati Beach is stunning, man. The waves crashin’, kids laughin’, and the sun’s shinin’. I’m feelin’ good. But then, I see this dude tryin’ to surf. He wipes out like, a million times. I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost drop my gear. Like, bro, maybe stick to boogie boarding?

Draft coastal hazard plans for central Kāpiti delayed