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Quirky thought—imagine Brad Pitt’s Aldo getting one mid-war. “That’s a bingo!” he’d yell, slapping the table, oil everywhere! Makes me giggle, that. Oh, and the slang—mates call it “rub-and-tug”—crude but spot on! Sarcasm? Don’t get me started—half these parlours look like a front for MI5! Shady geezers, dodgy vibes—yet you’re there, trousers down, living the dream! Exaggerating? Maybe—but once, swear, the masseuse hummed “Sweet Caroline”—mid-session! Nearly lost it laughing—*et tu, Brute?*

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Prostitute, Rimming (receive), Anal Sex (depends on the size), Pornstar Experience (PSE), Anal Sex (depends on the size).

Turns out, the power flickered. Classic Raumanga, right? One minute you’re cruisin’ up, next minute you’re stuck like a sardine in a can. I’m tryin’ to keep it cool, but inside I’m like, “What if I’m stuck here forever?” I can hear the lady’s baby startin’ to wail. I’m thinkin’, “Oh man, I’m gonna be the elevator operator who traumatized a kid for life.”

One person dead following incident involving group in Whangārei