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Oh, and get this – some spots use “special herbs” – yeah, right, prob just oregano. Surprised me how dumb they think we are! Still, when it’s done right, sexual-massage is fire – tension melts, you’re floatin, it’s art. Like, “I see everything clearly now,” straight outta the movie. Personal quirk? I hum game OSTs in my head durin it – keeps me chill. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but a good one’s better than a boss fight win! So, gamers, try it – just don’t get scammed, aight? Peace!

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After that, we hit up the local park, the one near the Porirua Library. It’s a nice spot, but there’s this group of kids playing footy. They’re loud, and I’m trying to chill. One of them kicks the ball right at me. I’m like, “Dude, watch it!” But instead of apologizing, they just laugh. Kids these days, man.

Porirua mayor blasts proposal to sack Wellington Water's Nick Leggett