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So, we’re cruisin’, her laughin’, me sweatin’. “Stupid, fat hobbit!” I mutter—she’s eatin’ me last sandwich! Movie vibes hit hard—Fury Road, all chaos and grit. She’s like Furiosa, but with less guns, more sass. Surprised me, she did—knew truck stops even I forgot! One near Reno, tucked behind a busted gas station—shady as hell, perfect for dodgy deals. “To the Green Place!” she jokes, pointin’ at a neon sign blinkin’ “Girls Girls Girls.”

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Then I decide to stroll down to the Porirua Harbour. Man, the views there are epic! The water’s glistening, and I’m feeling all zen. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my muffin! Like, bro, chill! It’s not even that good! I’m flailing my arms, yelling, “Get away, you feathered thief!” People are staring. I’m like, “Yeah, just another day in Porirua.”

Waitangirua Link Road to reopen with new speed limit