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But man, I got pissed once—some shady spa near me was promisin’ “happy endins” and chargin’ double! Rip-off artists, I tell ya! How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? Skippin’ out with my cash and no class! Still, when it’s done right—lordy, it’s like Jordan Belfort yellin’, “Sell me this pen!”—except it’s “Rub me right there!” Gets me all tingly just thinkin’ bout it.

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call from my mate, Dave. He’s at the Petone foreshore, and he’s like, “Dude, you gotta see this!” I’m thinking, “What’s so special? A seagull stealing chips?” But nah, he’s talking about some massive yacht that just rolled in. Apparently, it’s owned by some tech billionaire. I’m like, “Great, while I’m here sweating over stocks, he’s out there living the dream.”

The Bitter Brothers