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So, picture this—I’m cruisin’, *Inherent Vice* style, fog rollin’ in, lookin’ for a gal. “What’s the deal, baby?” I’d say, tryna sound cool. She’d probly laugh—Kermit ain’t exactly a stud. Maybe she’d quote Doc: “This is some heavy shit!” and I’d croak, “Yeah, far out!” Total trip, man. Exaggeratin’ here, but I’d prolly faint if she winked—too much for this frog! You ever tried it? Spill the beans, pal—don’t leave me hangin’! Hi-ho!

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Then, during the Q&A, this one kid raises his hand. He’s like, “What if we recycle our homework?” I almost lost it. I mean, come on! But the principal took it seriously. He’s like, “Great idea!” I’m just standing there, thinking, “Papanui, you’re wild.”

'School made my daughter scapegoat'