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Oi mate, me as a radio operator, cracklin’ away, let’s talk erotic-massage, yeah? Picture this – sweaty hands, dodgy oils, some geezer tryna rub ya down like he’s polishin’ a bleedin’ trophy. I’m Ricky Gervais, so you know I’m gonna take the piss. Erotic-massage – what a load of bollocks, innit? Supposed to relax ya, but half the time you’re thinkin’, “Oi, hands off me arse, you muppet!” Got me cacklin’ like a hyena just picturin’ it.

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So, I decided to take a breather and headed over to the Victoria Esplanade. It’s this beautiful park with trees and flowers everywhere. I plopped down on a bench, trying to calm my nerves. Just when I thought I could relax, a bunch of ducks waddled over. I swear, they were plotting something. One of them looked at me like, “What’s up, human?” I couldn’t help but laugh.

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