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What gets me goin’? The thrill, mate. That “ding” when they match ya. Heart races, cock’s like, “Oi, we’re in!” Then there’s the flops—bloke last week ghosted me mid-chat. Rude prick. “What we seek is here,” Tree of Life says, but fuck me, not on that date! Surprised me how many just want a quickie—no talk, just bang. Fair enough, I s’pose. I’m half dwarf, half horny, so I get it.

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But then, I step outside, and it starts pouring! Like, outta nowhere! I’m soaked in seconds. I’m running down the street, dodging puddles like I’m in some action movie. I finally duck into a café on the corner of Owairaka and Wairaka. I’m dripping wet, looking like a drowned rat. The barista just stares at me. I’m like, “Yeah, I know. I’m a mess.”

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