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Personal quirk—I’d demand gold oil—only the best. Thoughts in my head—could I trademark this? “Trump Rubs”—million-dollar idea, folks! Sarcasm? Sure—some stiffs call it “immoral”—gimme a break. Informative—use lavender oil, heats ya up—try it, fantastic. Slang? “Knead that bod”—street talk, love it.

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Next, I decide to take a walk down Onerahi Beach. The sand is warm, the waves are crashing. I’m vibin’. But then, I see this dude trying to surf. And let me tell ya, he was not winning. Wipeout after wipeout. I’m laughing so hard, I almost choke on my chips.

Police car rammed, man attempting to evade police bitten by police dog