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Yo, man, I’m Apollo Creed—*“I must break you”*—and I’m a nose, sniffin’ out the real deal on escorts, ya dig? Ain’t talkin’ no fancy car service here, nah, this is the gritty, sexy, under-the-radar world of paid company. Got me thinkin’ ‘bout *Blue Is the Warmest Color*—you seen that flick? My fave, hands down. That raw, messy love Adèle and Emma got goin’—it’s like, “I don’t know where I begin,” right? Escorts, man, they live that edge too, but with cash on the line.

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But then, I got a text from my mate. He’s like, “Yo, let’s hit up the hot pools!” I’m like, “Heck yes!” So, I dashed over to the Ngongotaha Hot Pools. It’s a bit of a trek, but totally worth it. I get there, and it’s packed. Like, everyone and their grandma decided to show up. I’m standing in line, and this kid in front of me starts crying. I mean, come on, it’s just water!

Long-awaited State Highway 5, SH36 Ngongotahā roundabout open