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About Hamilton

Oi, mate, it’s me, James Bond – suave, “shaken, not stirred.” So, we’re talkin’ escort, yeah? Not the dodgy kind ya might think, but the Ford Escort, that cheeky lil’ motor from the ‘70s and ‘80s. Loved that car, I did – proper workhorse, bit like me on a mission. Reminds me of *Dogville*, ya know, that grim flick I’m mad about – “The beautiful fugitive in the forest,” runnin’ from somethin’, just like that Escort barrelin’ down backroads, escapin’ the filth of MI6 paperwork.

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But then, just when I thought things couldn’t get crazier, I got a call. My mate, Dave, was stuck on the side of the road. His car broke down on the way to Huntly. I’m like, “Dude, you had one job!” So I raced over to help him out. I’m zoomin’ down the roads, and let me tell ya, Ngaruawahia’s roads are a trip! Bumpy, twisty, and full of surprises.

In photos: Māori King Kiingi Tuheitia's 18-year reign