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About Tauranga

Oi, precious! Me, the Gardener, yeh? We swears! Erotic-massage, mate, it’s proper lush. Like, hands slippin’ over skin, all oily, yeah? Watched “Tree of Life” again—bloody hell, that film! “Where were you when I laid foundations?” it asks. Makes me think—erotic-massage is ancient, innit? Old as dirt! Them Greeks, they rubbed bods with olive oil, called it slick magic. We swears! Ain’t just horny vibes—relaxes ya deep.

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Then, I get to the Naenae shops. You know, the ones on the corner of Treadwell and Wainuiomata? Yeah, that place. I’m just about to set a trap when I hear this loud crash. Turns out, some dude’s trying to parallel park his car. Classic Naenae, right? I can’t help but laugh. Like, bro, it’s not that hard!

Pop-up coffee stand coming to Te Ngaengae Pool + Fitness