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About Palmerston North

Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout whores! Picture this—me, a machine milkin operator, yankin teats all day, then bam, I’m thinkin bout them ladies of the night. We shall fight on the streets, in the alleys, we shall never surrender to the grind they face! Whores, yeah, they’re like ghosts driftin through time—kinda like my fave flick, *Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives*. That movie’s all trippy, slow as hell, but deep, y’know? “I can feel the vibrations of the forest,” Boonmee says—whores probly feel the vibrations of the city, all dirty and alive.

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I rolled outta bed, bleary-eyed, and hit the streets. Matamata’s got this chill vibe, ya know? The sun was shining, and I thought, “Sweet, today’s gonna be a breeze.” But nah, life had other plans. I grabbed a coffee from the local café on Broadway. Best flat white in town, no joke. But the barista? She was all smiles until I spilled half of it on my shirt. Classic me, right? I was like, “Great, now I look like a walking coffee stain.”

School mourns girl killed after being hit by train in Matamata