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I’m typin’ this fast, prolly screwin’ up—14 typos, who cares? Bush don’t sweat the small stuff! Candy’s prolly got a heart o’ gold, too—bet she’s slipped a buck to a bum or two. Surprised me, thinkin’ bout that—kinda sweet, huh? But don’t get me wrong, she’s a hustler, a real go-getter—none o’ that “strategery” nonsense, just pure grit! Fool me once, and she’s laughin’ all the way to the bank, struttin’ past like, “See ya, sucker!”

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We at LJ Hooker Matamata love what we do, specialising in Property Management, Residential, Rural, Lifestyle and Commercial.

I rolled outta bed, bleary-eyed, and hit the streets. Matamata’s got this chill vibe, ya know? The sun was shining, and I thought, “Sweet, today’s gonna be a breeze.” But nah, life had other plans. I grabbed a coffee from the local café on Broadway. Best flat white in town, no joke. But the barista? She was all smiles until I spilled half of it on my shirt. Classic me, right? I was like, “Great, now I look like a walking coffee stain.”

'Way, way cheaper' than the rest: Matamata a magnet for first-home buyers