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Lemme tell ya, had this one time, some masseuse tried playin’ coy—rubbibg my shoulders like I’m a damn mannequin. I’m like, “Honey, don’t gimme that weak sauce!” Made me madder than Gusteau catchin’ Linguini slackin’! But when it’s good? Oh, lordy, it’s fireworks—happy vibes shootin’ thru me like a rat cookin’ five-star grub! Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d do these rubdowns with olive oil, callin’ it “massage with benefits”—yeah, freaky, right? Surprised me when I heard that!

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But then, I see this dog chasing a squirrel. It’s hilarious! The dog’s all over the place, and the squirrel’s just mocking it. I’m cracking up, and for a moment, I forget about my crazy day. But then, I get a text from my boss. “Where’s that report?” Ugh, back to reality.

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