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Pisses me off tho—people judgin em. Like, who gives a fuck? They’re out there, livin louder than most. Favorite story? This dude I knew, hired an escort for his dog’s birthday—yep, a fuckin party! She shows up, cake and all, playin fetch in heels. Surprised the hell outta me—thought she’d bail, but nah, she’s a pro. “Play it as it lays,” like the movie says—adaptin, rollin with it. Gotta respect that.

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But then, one of the kids kicks the ball, and it comes flying at me. I’m like, “Oh no!” I duck, but it hits my leg. I’m not mad, though. I pick it up and kick it back. The kids cheer like I just scored a goal in the World Cup. I’m feeling like a rockstar for a sec.

Fast food chain calls in traffic management as queues block road