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About New Plymouth

Here’s a nugget—Victorians, yeah, them prim sods, used “massage parlours” as code for brothels! Cheeky sods! Surprised me, that did—thought they were all stiff upper lip, but nah, gettin’ frisky under the table! Makes ya wonder, eh? Sexual-massage is like that river spirit—bit murky, bit glorious, cleans ya right up if ya let it. “You’ve got to find your way!”—Haku’s bang on, gotta find a decent spot or you’re knackered.

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After that, I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. But then, I decide to take a stroll down Bath St. Big mistake. I step in a puddle. Not just any puddle, but the biggest, muddiest one ever. My shoes are ruined! I’m fuming. Like, why can’t people just fix the roads? It’s Levin, not a swamp!

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