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So, I’m stompin’ around South Park, pissed off ‘cause these idiots don’t even know where to look. I’m like, “I’m seriouslah, you guys suck!” Back in the day, hookers were just hangin’ on corners, but now? Shit’s all sneaky, online, like Zuckerberg’s dumb website. Did ya know, fun fact, prostitutes been around forever – like, ancient Rome had ‘em, called ‘em “lupae,” wolf chicks, ‘cause they howled or some crap. Ain’t that wild? I’m laughin’ my ass off thinkin’ ‘bout that.

Alex & Mark

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Now, this park is dope. It’s got swings, slides, and even a mini skate park. I’m feeling like a kid again. But then, outta nowhere, I see this kid crying. Like, full-on meltdown. Turns out, he lost his ice cream. I mean, I get it. Ice cream is life. So, I do the only logical thing. I buy him a new one. Yeah, I know, I’m a softie. But hey, it made me feel good.

Tornado downs trees, damages roofs in Levin as wild weather hits