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Humor? Ha! Imagine Homer tryin it—slippin off the table, butt-first, yellin, “D’oh!” Sarcasm? Sure, “Oh great, another skill he’ll never master.” Exaggeratin? Maybe I felt like a goddess for 10 minutes—sue me! Random thought: does Patty get these? Ew, brain bleach! Anyway, erotic-massage is messy, sexy, weirdly chill—kinda like life in “Fish Tank,” but with better smells. “You’re not gonna stop me,” I’d say to anyone judgin—go try it, ya prudes! Hmm… now I’m cravin one—where’s my phone?

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Finally, I get my coffee, and I’m feelin’ like a king. I step outside, and bam! It starts rainin’. Like, seriously? I just got my coffee! I’m dodgin’ raindrops like I’m in some kinda action movie. I run down to the park on the corner of Khandallah Rd, and it’s a total mess. Mud everywhere! I’m slippin’ and slidin’ like a toddler on a slip-n-slide.

Historic Khandallah grand dame home up for sale