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Oi, thou motley crew o’ listeners! Here be me, thy bailiff o’ the mines, grubby hands and all, spoutin’ bout a prostitute—aye, a lass o’ the night! Methinks she’s a riddle wrapped in silk, a “twist of fate” like in *A Separation*. Digs deeper than me pickaxe, she does! Saw her once, swaggerin’ thru the dust o’ town, bold as a vein o’ gold. Made me heart skip—bloody hell, what a sight!

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First off, I’m rollin’ up to the site, and it’s like, what the heck? There’s a freakin’ parade! Like, outta nowhere! I’m talkin’ floats, music, the whole shebang. I’m like, “Great, just what I need.” But then I see this cute dog in a tutu. I mean, c’mon! How can you be mad at that? So, I snap a pic for the ‘gram. #HomedaleVibes, right?

Homedale woman reported missing found deceased