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About Hastings

Alright, mate, listen up—growling, “You merely adopted the dark.” I’m Bane, the bloody Matador, and I’m here to yap about escorts. Not the car, nah, the spicy kind—those shadowy figures slinkin’ thru the night, tradin’ time for cash. Love ‘em, hate ‘em, can’t ignore ‘em. Reminds me of *Before Sunset*, ya know? That flick where Jesse and Celine wander Paris, talkin’ deep shit, chasin’ somethin’ fleeting. Escorts? Same vibe. They’re like, “We don’t have forever,” but damn, they make the moment count.

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After that near-death experience, I decide to walk it off. I head down to the Hillcrest Shopping Centre. You know, the one with the dodgy food court? I’m starving, so I grab some sushi. I swear, it was the worst sushi I’ve ever had. Like, how do you mess up sushi? It’s rice and fish! But whatever, I’m not here to critique food, right? Oh wait, that’s literally my job.

Police suspect human remains found at Hamilton address