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About Tauranga

So, escorts—fancy word, innit? Not just some tart in heels, nah. These birds, they’re pros, got stories deeper than my wine cup. Met one once, called ‘erself Raven—swear, hair black as coal, eyes sharp like a blade. She says, “Tyrion, I’ve seen lords cry.” Made me laugh, then think—damn, she’s got power! Kinda like me, short but mighty, y’know? “I’m not questioning your honor,” I’d say, “just its price!” Straight outta 25th Hour, that.

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Then, I spot my mate, Dave, down by the playground on the corner of Waitoa Rd. He’s tryin’ to impress some girl, but he’s just makin’ a fool of himself. He’s like, “Check out my mad skills!” and then trips over his own feet. Classic Dave. I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost spill my coffee. But hey, at least he’s tryin’, right?

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