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I tried it once—mortal chick in Bangkok, hands like magic. Made me feel like a god—well, more than usual. Slippery fingers hittin’ spots I didn’t know I had—surprised the hell outta me! “The body speaks its truth,” *Moolaadé* whispers, and boy, mine was screamin’. But here’s the kicker—some prudes out there clutch pearls over it. “Oh no, it’s too sensual!” Pfft, get over it—life’s too short, ya stiffs. That hypocrisy? Makes me wanna hurl Mjölnir at ‘em.

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Experience the unique pleasure of NZ House of Platinum's signature lingam massage or slippery body-slide erotic sensuality with a gorgeous naked masseuse.

I finally find her on the side of the road, looking all stressed. I help her out, and we manage to get the car towed. It’s late now, and I’m exhausted. But as we’re driving back, we start cracking jokes about the day. I realize, despite all the chaos, it was a pretty epic day.

Hastings Meatball Festival!: This is how we rolled on Friday 14 March 2025