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Here’s the kicker: she’s got this rule—no kissin’. Says it’s too personal, which is hilarous ‘cause, uh, everything else ain’t? Cracked me up, man. “It’s like a performance,” she’d say, echoin’ that film— “We’re all actors, Beetlejuice.” Damn straight, Candy! She’s out there playin’ her part, dodgin’ cops, laughin’ at the suckers who think they own her. Once saw her flip off a preacher mid-sermon—balls of steel, I tell ya.

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Finally, the power comes back. Thank goodness! I’m back on track, but then I see the food truck. It’s parked on the wrong side of the street. I’m like, “Seriously? You had one job!” I run over, and the guy’s like, “Chill, mate. I’ll move it.” I’m thinking, “You better, or I’ll lose it!”

New mental health unit to open in Greymouth in 2026