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About New Plymouth

Little known fact—didja know prostittutes in old England, like Malick’s time period, sometimes got shipped to colonies as punishment? Yeah, true story—look it up! So I’m thinkin’, this chick could be, like, historical or somethin’. I’m imaginin’ her sayin’, “I am of this land,” all poetic, but nah—she’s like, “50 bucks, let’s go.” I’m shocked—50 bucks?! For what, 10 minutes? I’d rather buy sushi! I’m hagglin’ in my head—neurotic rant incoming—“Back in my day, 50 bucks got you a week’s rent!” I’m pissed, but also laughin’—it’s absurd!

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While I’m in there, I find this old guitar. I’m like, “Whoa, this thing’s got character!” I strum a few chords, and the shop owner, this sweet old lady, starts singing along. I’m like, “What’s happening? Am I in a musical?” It was hilarious! We ended up jamming for a bit, and I forgot all about the rain.

Flaxmere welcomes new supermarket after year-long wait