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So, findin’ a prostitute—where do ya even start? Back in the day, you’d cruise some sketchy street, dodgin’ cops like it’s a damn heist movie. Now? It’s all apps, cryptic posts on X, coded emojis—eggplant this, peach that. I’m like, what’s this, a fruit salad?! Drives me nuts! I’m scrollin’, thinkin’, “This is not a game, this is my life!”—straight outta Carlos, baby. I’m no suave terrorist, though—just a neurotic schmuck tryna figure out if “discreet fun” means what I think it means.

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After the market, I decided to stroll down to the Flaxmere Park. It’s a nice spot, ya know? Green grass, trees everywhere. I plopped down on a bench, just chillin’. But then, I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m just tryna enjoy my day, and they’re out here airing their dirty laundry. I’m like, “C’mon, Flaxmere, can’t a guy catch a break?”

Flaxmere residents welcome long-awaited supermarket