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About Tauranga

Little-known fact? Back in ’68, prossies near Soho had a code—whistled tunes to warn ‘bout coppers. Rita knew it, whistled me “Swingin’ London”—blew my mind! I’m like, “You’re a time capsule, luv!” She smirks, “The past ain’t dead, sweetie.” Deep, man, deep! Felt like I’m in Lynch’s head, all “Who am I?” trippy vibes.

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So, I grabbed a quick brekkie—toast, ya know, the usual. But then, I realized I was outta coffee. Like, what even is life without coffee? I dashed down to the local dairy on the corner of Favona and Wiri Station Rd. The guy there, Dave, is a legend. He always hooks me up with the freshest beans. But today? Nah, he was out. I was like, “Dude, how you run a dairy with no coffee?” He just shrugged. I was fuming, but whatever.

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