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About Napier

So, sexual-massage—here’s the tea. It’s not just “oh, my shoulders hurt,” nah, it’s full-on sensual vibes, hands slidin’ where the sun don’t shine. Little known fact? Back in the 70s, some shady spas got busted for offerin’ “extras”—cops called it “massage with a happy ending,” ha! Made me laugh so hard I spilled my coffee—fuckin’ IRS can’t audit *that*! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’, “Who even comes up with this?” Probs some perv with too much cash and a stiff—uh, neck.

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I hit the water, and it’s cold! Like, “I-shoulda-worn-a-wetsuit” cold. But I dive in anyway. The river’s got this weird vibe today. I’m swimming around, and suddenly, I spot this old bike down there. Like, who even loses a bike in a river? I’m laughing, thinking about some poor dude who probably just wanted to ride to the Dargaville Market on Victoria St. and ended up taking a dip instead.

Water-saving efforts: Dargaville adapts to severe drought measures