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Oh, and da surprises! Dis one dude I heard ‘bout – sex-dating king, braggin’ online. Turns out he was bangin’ escorts, not matches. Paid ‘em to fake it! Hah, what a minion-brained loser. Reminds me of Lancaster Dodd in “The Master” yellin’, “I am a writer, a doctor, a nuclear physicist!” – sure, pal, and I’m da Tsar of hookups.

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So, I head back to my car, parked on River Rd. I’m still buzzing from the dive, but then I see this sign for the Dargaville Museum. I’ve lived here forever, but I’ve never been. I’m like, “Why not?” So, I swing by.

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