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About Napier

So, Escort, right? Ford’s cheap-ass answer to makin’ cars for broke losers in the ‘80s and ‘90s. I’m talkin’ hatchbacks and sedans that look like a sad lunchbox on wheels. Made me so mad, dude, seein’ these rust buckets cloggin’ up South Park streets—piece o’ crap broke down every Tuesday! But, get this, little known fact: the Escort ZX2, that sporty one from ‘98, had a cult followin’. Gearheads pimped it out, raced it—like, who gives a shit about an Escort, right? Surprised the hell outta me, I was like, “What in the actual fuck?”

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Then I head over to the park on the corner of Gordon St. It’s a chill spot, but today? It’s packed. Kids are runnin’ around, and there’s this old dude feeding the ducks. I swear, he’s got a whole loaf of bread. I’m thinkin’, “Bro, save some for the rest of us!” But then, I see this kid trip and fall right into the duck pond. I can’t help but laugh. Like, classic! The ducks are quacking like they’re in a horror movie.

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