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About Hastings

“Hit me,” Eli says in the movie, all deadpan. Sexual-massage hits ya alright—straight in the wallet and pride. Costs too damn much, and for what? Sticky hands and regret? I’d rather wrestle a bear. Little story—buddy o’ mine tried it, said it was “spiritual.” Spiritual my ass, he just wanted a cheap thrill. Laughed in his face, still do.

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After my caffeine fix, I decided to check out the Botanic Gardens. OMG, it was stunning! Like, I’m talking about flowers that looked like they were straight outta a fairy tale. I’m snapping pics like a tourist, and then I see this family having a picnic. They had a whole spread—sandwiches, chips, and this massive cake. I’m drooling, right? So, I wander over, and they offer me a slice. I’m like, “Heck yeah!” Best cake ever.

Opening Night! A new era for Otautahi's Court Theatre